Half time

Turning 40 a few years ago has changed my thinking in many ways. I realize that I probably have more birthdays behind me than I have in front of me. This is my half time. Time to look back and reflect, look at at my present to make some honest assessments and finally to plan for the future.

I came across 2 Timothy 4:6-8 today and wondered what it must feel like to face death with this thought.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day...

Wow. What peace of mind.

If I were to die tomorrow, I think a summation of my life might be;

I really wanted to do so much more to make a difference in my family and community for Jesus Christ, but I failed. I wanted to act, when I should have acted, I was silent, when I should have spoken, I focused on this world, instead of focusing on eternity. I failed my family, my friends and most importantly, my Lord.

That may not be a very pretty picture, but it's pretty damn accurate.

I have been tugged in many directions lately. Work, family, activities of all sorts. The one thing I have not made time for in my daily life is carving out some time with God. Sure I go to church, and I am starting up our small group this month after taking the summer off, but I have not made an appointment with God to discuss what I am doing and what he wants from me.

I am reading a book great right now by Becky Tirabassi called "Let prayer change your life" about her commitment to pray one hour a day and how that has changed everything in her life. Pray one hour a day? Me?

I am lucky to spend one hour a month in prayer. My prayer life consists of a few minutes at church, a few minutes at our small groups, I try to find some time in the car driving to work in the morning when I am alone on the highway, but I haven't sat down in a quiet room and spoke with God in a long time.

Maybe that is why I am struggling in my ministry efforts. I have a lot of ideas and well intentioned plans to invite people to church, to our Bible study, work on our men's ministry efforts or just to work on maintenance projects at church, but I am struggling to follow up on all these things. I really want to do them, I just let all the distractions of this world take me away from my ministry efforts. That has to change. I am checking things off my list one by one, but I could sure use some help.

If you feel at all inclined, take a minute right now and pray for me, take fifteen seconds to ask the Lord to guide me and strengthen me. He knows what I need, better than I do.

Thanks in advance.