Survivor golf and Mr. hurry up

I started my conditioning training today.

Gee I didn't know you were a runner Cowboy.


I'm not.

Then what are you training for?

Deer hunting season is a few weeks away.


Oh, so your getting in shape so you can kill Bambi? That's not very nice.

Did I ever claim I was 'nice'?


You probably did.

Well, I am nice, but I also hunt deer and upland birds.


Ok so what are doing for your training? Running, treadmill, spinning classes, Yoga?

Nope, golfing.

Golfing! that isn't even a real sport, just a bunch rich guys in ugly pants chasing a white ball around. How is riding around in a cart, drinking beer from the cart girl and putting going to get you in shape?

Here in Yolo County we play a different form of golf, it's called "survivor golf". If you ever watch that show where they drop this ex-special forces guy into the jungle and he tries to make it out, its like that, only much tougher.


Oh Cmon' its golf, how bad could it be?

You start out by dropping by the closest golf course near you on a weekend in July, our closest course is the new Wild Wings course. This was our first time there, it will be our last. But I digress, first you have to get a tee time about 2:30 pm when it's close to 100 degrees.


Ok, so its hot, so what?

I'm just getting started, after paying $15 each to walk 9 holes, I went out with my son who is just learning the game. With no driving range there is no way to work on your swing so you just head off to the first tee after doing a little practice putting on the putting green at the 'clubhouse'. The two golfers behind us were in a cart and had the look of folks who played well. I asked them to go out in front of us, I figured they would play much faster and I didn't want to hold them up. They said thanks and teed off. Then....


$15 isn't that bad to play a round of golf?

I have played all over California and I don't mind spending money on a nice course, I have shelled out $250 for a weekend in the Bay Area, but an afternoon rate of $15 to walk nine holes on a two year old course with no trees, no shade anywhere, brown fairways and no driving range is way too much. They know they have local golfers by the short hairs because there are not many places to play around Woodland, so they charge what they charge and people are willing to pay it. As much as I am a free-market guy, I still want to feel like I am getting what I pay for.


Oh quit crying, most of the grass was green right?

Yes, most of the grass was green, and the consistent high pitch yapping of the dog behind the fence at the 6th hole wasn't even that bad, I guess what really gets on my nerves is the other group of golfers who came up behind us on the first tee. After we let the first group of two go out in front of us, we waited for them to get out of range and we teed off. My son, who I said is just learning the game, topped his first two shots and was a total of 100 yards off the tee when the next group showed up. We were not piddling around, my son was walking up to the ball taking one practice swing and hitting the ball, badly it turns out, but were were not stopping to discuss swing tips, we were hitting the ball and walking. One of the group behinds us yelled out that we would have play 'a lot faster that that', I looked back and waved to him, choking back the urge to stomp back to the tee box and throw him into the water hazard, but I remained calm and told my son, just play your game, our $15 is the same color as his, if he wants to pretend he is Tiger Woods, he can join a country club and golf with people just as uptight as he is. My son laughed and his swing improved with each hole. We caught up to the golfers in front of us on a par three and we waited for the group behind us to finish and told them they could play through. Mr. Hurry up sheepishly thanked us and then hit his tee shot into the trap. I snuffed out a chuckle from my throat, and looked my son, he was smiling. My son bogeyed the last two holes and had shot at a couple of par puts, so all in all he did great.


Ok, so you were confronted by an inconsiderate jerk on the golf course, its no big deal.

Your right, its not a big deal, but I have been behind a lot of beginner golfers, young and old, and I remember how intimidating it was to be pressured by the group behind me. I always stop, take in the scenery and relax when there is a slower group in front of me. They have to learn too. I bet Mr. Hurry up was terrible his first ten times on a course, maybe he just forgot.


So you think walking 9 holes in 100 degree heat will get you in shape?

Well, round is a shape, right?

Tammy Faye dies at 65

I didn't want to post on Tammy Faye after my wife stumbled across her interview on Larry King last week. She looked like she had already passed away and no one told her. Yikes.



Cancer is a terrible way to go, and I do feel for her family, but wow, I mean, please stay off Larry King and let everyone remember you as a lady who wore way too much makeup, not like this.

Atkin Air, bad luck strikes again.

I saw the newsflash on the Daily Democrat website that a small plane crashed shortly after takeoff from the Woodland Airport.

(Photo from Deo Ferrer/Daily Democrat)

Both folks walked away from the wreck after a hawk smashed through the window of the Cessna. Upside down in a tomato field is no way to end a flight, but as far as airplane crashes go, if I have to be in one, I'll take this kind over the smoking hole in the ground flavor of crash.

It turns out the Cessna is owned by Atkin Air, a small charter and instruction school out of Lincoln, Ca. I have flown with Ken Atkin and his crews a dozen times in the past, mostly in their Piper Seneca II, like this one.
I have also flown in the Cessna 414, which is a cool plane.

A few years ago I saw a photo on the wall at Atkin showing a WWII Russian Yak 55M crashed on top of a Cessna 172. The Yak came in to land at the Lincoln airport and a Cessna 172 was landing on the same runway. The Yak didn't see the Cessna as it approached the runway and from what I hear you can't see much from the seat of the Yak, anyway it landed on top of the Cessna as it started it touchdown. As it turns out, the 172 was owned by a friend of ours and she had leased it to Atkin for a lesson plane. Its a good thing the Yak had a wooden propeller, otherwise the fuel tank on the Cessna may have been set ablaze.

You know, as much as I love flying, and I know you have to die of something, I think I will stick horses and Jeeps, they seem just a tab bit safer.

You know your gettin' old when....

When the music from your high school days is on the "classics" rack at Wal-Mart.
I stopped by Wallyworld on my home to see if they had the strange little device that lets you hook up a garden hose to the water intake port on the outdrive of a boat. I need a marine deep cycle battery as well and thought I would kill two birds with one stone, so down the florescently lit isles I went looking for boating supplies.

Not much luck, the six foot wide, three tier rack was filled with very little in the way of actual boat supplies, mostly rope, tie downs and assorted fishing pole holders and such. Well, at least I can get the battery here I thought to myself, so I picked up a 725 cold cranking amps battery and rolled the gray plastic cart to the checkout counter. While I was patiently waiting in line I saw what could only be described as a flash from my past.


I must admit to something right here and now, I was a huge AC/DC fan in high school. I actually sang in band with a few friends at one of our school assemblies. What did we play? Effin' AC/DC thats what! Sure we stunk, but bad AC/DC is better than a perfect rendition of any Lionel Ritchie song.

I remember we had a jukebox in the cafeteria, every morning you could be assured that someone would drop a quarter in to play Back in Black or Highway to Hell. Ah, there is nothing like three-cord power rock in the morning to get your blood pumping, except maybe Metallica.

Not only was I fan of their music, I was a collector of import AC/DC albums. I had the British and Australian import High Voltage just to name a few. Those vinyl records are long gone now and surprisingly enough I only have two or three AC/DC CDs in my collection. When I saw Angus in short pants holding that Gibson SG, I just had to buy it.

As I write this post I am listening to the bagpipe solo on "its along way to the top". A bagpipe solo? You darn right, that's music baby.

Finally, a chance to use your seat cushion as a floatation device!

Nevermind.

Columbia? What do the grow there?
Oh yea coffee, that's it, the pilot must have a few too many cups.

Or it could have been their other cash crop.

What a load of manure, in Winters no less

Debra Lo Guercio is not only the editor, she writes an opinion column for a small town paper called The Winters Express. Her column runs under the title "Because I Say So". I enjoy a good local editorial, especially when its well written and the underlying logic can be followed, even when I don't agree with opinion.

I just don't know where to start on her column. She must be trying to use humor to make her point, but her humor falls very flat. Debra's rant starts with Scooter Libby, stating that while he didn't personally out Valerie Plame, he took a bullet for those who did. Ok, Debra, you must mean Richard Armitage right? Scooter lied to protect Dick Armitage? He is the one who leaked the name of Joe Wilson's wife to Novak. This is a fact, it is not open to interpretation. So if Armitage leaked Plames name, why are you not upset that Armitage is not stamping out license plates?

Oh, its not really about who leaked what, its about Bush and his unprovoked war right Debra? Bingo!, we have a winner.

For all the outrage the left has whipped up over Senior Scooter and the commutation of his sentence, they are really upset Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald could not find anything to indict Vice President, Darth Vader,,,,I mean Dick Cheney on. Until the liberals have Cheney's head on a pike outside their geodesic dome, they will not be happy.

Never mind that Fitzgerald knew it was Armitage who leaked Plame's name to the press for two years, all the while pursuing any angle to get at the Vice President's office. My take on this is Libby tried to wiggle out of a bad situation by trying to use the 'I can't remember who said what when' defense, but he did not 'out' Valerie Plame. He testified before a Federal grand jury for 8 hours, prosecutors asking the same questions in different ways trying to get Libby to contradict his own testimony, he did. Scooter is found guilty of lying under oath. So that is the scooter Libby story, and don't get me started on Joe Wilson.

However this is not the end of Debra's illogical hat dance. She goes on to rebuff Republicans who pointed to President Clinton's pardons saying that defense is 'so weak'. Well lets take a look a just a few of the pardons that Bubba passed out like party favors on his way out of the office. Debra does not go into any detail about those, I wonder why?

Marc Rich, a fugitive financier donates $450,000 through his wife to the Clinton Presidential Library and $70,000 to Hillary Clinton's Senate campaign and presto! Marc Rich gets a pardon hours before Clinton leaves office. Nothing fishy there, right Debra?

Carlos Vignali a cocaine dealer who paid Hillary's Brother $400,000 to represent him and Presto! The Cocaine dealer gets a pardon, not just a commutation of his sentence, he gets a pardon. Hmm, I smell fish again. Debra?

Maybe President Bush has this all wrong, he should have taken a half a million from Libby and given him a full pardon, that seems to be perfectly acceptable behavior to Debra.

Oh well, on to the next example of ass-hatery from Ms. Lo Guercio

Here is where she lets her true colors fly. She contends the way to finally be rid of President Bush is to find a lusty intern to 'lube Dubya’s tube' and that would be grounds to impeach him.

I'm sure that gets a chuckle from her friends but is that the best you can do Debra?

She tries to wrap up her rambling opinion by again pointing to facts not in evidence. Bush commutes Libby's sentence because Libby could spill the beans about Bush and Cheney lying about the reasons we went to war in Iraq. Ok, I guess Debra must know something we don't. She must have the smoking gun tapes or memos where Bush and Cheney admit they don't really have any reason to go to war with Iraq, they just like killing people and blowing crap up. Maybe Debra has the original pre-war intelligence papers written by the British, the Australians and half of worlds intel community stating that Saddam had no WMDs. I wish she would do us the favor of releasing those, that would be a big help.

I get it Debra, you hate George Bush. Really, I get it.
You can trot out your tired lines about trampling on the constitution and a cornucopia of high crimes but in the end, you just hate George W. Bush, and thats ok. You can write a forest's worth of opinions in your paper about the many ways W makes you crazy with anger, but your opinions are just that, your opinions.

I hope they don't charge folding money for the Winters Express, I know Debra doesn't have any of my money in her pockets.

Oh and just in case she wants to sue me, here is your byline Debra;

Note: This column may not be reproduced in any form without the copyright and byline
By Debra Lo Guercio
Copyright 2004
McNaughton Newspapers

Stop the presses, I agree with Hillary

I agree with Hillary and the Silky Pony, lets cut the field down in these debates, on both sides. Is there any reason at for Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul to be up on stage with poll numbers in the single digits? Its not like we don't know who these guys are, America has seen you and America doesn't want you to be President. Sorry to bust your bubble but its time you third tier candidates get the message, NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK. I know, I know, but if the public only knew what I stand for, if they could hear my plan for America, they would flock to my campaign. Yea, sure they would.

If you want to know a grass roots effort looks like, look at Fred Thompson. Here is a guy who hasn't announced his candidacy for President and yet he polls in the top three Republicans. Fred isn't demanding he get equal time on the national stage with these debates that no one is paying attention to, he is just traveling around talking to people, and the people like what they hear.

So I hope Hillary, the Silky Pony and Barack tell the networks they think the office of President of the United States is too important to waste time debating people who have no chance of winning it.

Yolo GOP thows a great party.

I just walked back in the door from the Woodland Republican Club's picnic at Fern Park. I enjoyed the presentation given by Tom Del Baccaro the Vice Chair of the California Republican Party speaking about strategy and ideas for the 08' campaign. Tom was preceded by Greg Aghazarian who is running for the 5th Senate District.

While the local Democrats are meeting to discuss a liberal book exchange club and review Michael Moore's 'Sicko', the Yolo County Republicans are looking forward to the next election and finding ways to reach out to the community. Oh and having a few heavy hitters stop by to meet the folks who walk the precincts and stuff the mailers. Not bad for a small town Republican Club. Not bad at all.

My new Axe

I have been playing guitar for a year or two and let me just state this very clearly, I am terrible. My poor ability to play however, has not held me back from buying a new electric guitar. I have an acoustic guitar that I enjoy tormenting the cats and my wife with, but to really drive them over the edge you need an amplifier and some distortion.

I have been looking at guitars in the 300 to 500 dollar range for a few months now and did not want to buy anything made in China. Hey I know the political prisoners need something to do to pass the time, but making my guitar shouldn't be one of them. I have always liked the heavy crunch and thick sound of a Les Paul and found several knock offs that are made well and sound good, namely the Tradition and ESP but I have always had a soft spot for the Telecaster. After looking at a bunch of shiny new guitars, I could not decide on one particular axe so I kept looking.

There are two good music shops in our area, Woodland Music and Guitar and Watermelon Music in Davis. I have spent hours at each looking, playing and asking about six hundred stupid questions before I narrowed down my choices to one type of guitar and two manufactures.

After sitting in at a free guitar tone clinic at Watermelon Music one night, listening and learning about various guitar types and styles I decided I would purchase a Telecaster. The question was which one, Fender or G&L? Fender makes about 50 models from their Squire - Chinese Tele for under $200 to a Jeff Beck Tele for over $10, 000. My choices were between the Standard Telecaster, made in Mexico for about $400 and the Special Edition- Light Ash Telecaster for over $600. On the G&L side the choices were between the Tribute series ASAT, made overseas with all American parts for about $450 and the American made ASAT for just over $900

I liked the G&Ls and was very close to ordering a Tribute Classic when I stopped by Watermelon again and started looking the Fenders they had in stock. My taste in colors is not very exotic, I like black Guitars with very few frills and accouterments. While I was looking at G&Ls, I saw a Fender Light Ash Tele in black with a birdseye maple neck for $600. This was just over the amount of money I had decided to spend, but dang it was a nice guitar. I played it, I had my son play it, and asked more dumb questions before the person helping me said that that guitar had been in stock for about a year and they would really like to sell it, he said he would make me great deal on it.

I went home and looked it up on Musician's Friend and found it selling for $629. Needless to say when you can beat the online price by over $100, that is a good deal. I had the guys in the guitar shop put a set of DL Pure Blues strings on it and set the action before I picked it up. Here it is.I like shopping local when ever I can, sometimes the store has what you are looking for, sometimes they don't. I would recommend both Woodland Music and Watermelon Music. The owner of Woodland Music is an encyclopedia of Guitar knowledge and the young guys who work there are players and love to talk about gear. Watermelon Music has more than just guitars, from drums to violins to keyboards, the sell it, fix it and will teach you to play it. They also hold guitar clinics and other cool events.

I am now the proud owner of a great guitar that will last me a lifetime.

Gotta go, its time to make the cats run for cover.

Ever wanted to burn your calendar?

I have one more event marked on my calendar for the foreseeable future. That event is the Woodland Republican Club's picnic at Fern Park this Saturday evening from 5:00 to 7:00. Tom Del Baccaro will be the featured speaker and I am sure Daniel Caddy with California for Thompson will be there as well. It will be a good time and a great opportunity for Republicans to come together and remember what a great job we are doing locally and find out what is in store for the future.

The past few months have been incredibly busy for me, not that I am complaining mind you, its just that I would like to have a weekend where I can elect to do nothing at all. Poor me? Not hardly.

It is times like theses when I remember that somewhere a half a world a way, some 20 something soldier from a little town I never heard of is strapping on his gear, saying a prayer and checking his weapon before he goes out on patrol, the same way he has been everyday for months. That makes me feel guilty as can be that I am sitting here bitching about the fact that I haven't been able to take my boat out on the lake this year. I'm sure that soldier would give six months pay for a day on a lake with his family or friends, laughing and having few cold ones.

As the Fourth of July fades from our memories, remember this; if you think your burdens are too much to handle, there are folks out there who would gladly exchange problems with you.

777

I have been sucked into the lucky seven wedding black hole. I performed the wedding ceremony for my friend today at noon in Esparto. While the guests were in the shade, the wedding party stood in the noonday sun for the ceremony. All the guys were sweating, none worse than me, and the ladies were sweltering as well. As is my usual service, it ran about 8 minutes and presto, husband and wife.

The reception is still going on right now at the Boy Scout hall but I have had enough of the festivities, better to leave that to the young kids.

A great day, but I'm glad its over.

I agree with Instapundit; the best headline of the year

I KICKED BURNING TERRORIST SO HARD IN BALLS THAT I TORE A TENDON.

A HERO cabbie who took on the Glasgow Airport terror suspects told yesterday how he booted one of them in the privates.

Alex McIlveen, 45, kicked the man, whose body was in flames, so hard that he tore a tendon in his foot.

But he said last night: "He didn't even flinch. I couldn't believe he didn't go down.

"A doctor told me later I'd damaged a tendon in my foot."

I don't know, but if I were on fire I think someone kicking me in the package would be the least of my worries.

Scooter Libby, Hamas leaders in Iraq, London car bombing doctors!

What in the heck is going on here?

I have been so flippin busy with work, the ranch and writing a wedding ceremony, I have had little time to blog.

So let me list the headlines and give you my two word opinions on them.
Here goes'

Scooter Libby sentence;

• Much ado

Hamas leaders in Iraq working with Iran's Quds forces to kill American soldiers;

• Told ya

London Bombers are not disenfranchised youths, they're doctors;

• Blow-up-wardly mobile?

Tahoe Fires;

• Defensible space

Immigration Bill dies;

• Kill Bill2 or Muchas Gracias ( I couldn't decide)

McCain's Presidential Campaign;

• Code Blue
  

We rely on the good will of our fellow man and the forbearance of reptiles

I may need a little more than that tonight.

Yes folks, somehow I have been talked into performing another wedding. This makes four, all friends of course, and all performed in the Capay Valley. Tonight is the bachelor party at deer camp.

If you are picturing deer camp from Field and Stream magazine with a small cabin tucked into the forest with rocking chairs on the front porch, you would be wrong. Think five miles of steep winding dirt road taking you deeper into the chemise brush, rocks and live oak trees. At the end you find a small collection of wooden structures that you could call cabins, or you could call them rattlesnake condominiums, which would be a better description. Don't get me wrong, we would love to have running water, indoor plumbing and electricity, but we still love deer camp.

The trick to surviving a night a deer camp is strategic planning and logistics. If you get there early, you are toast. The parking area is small strip of road that leads into camp. If your rig is in the front, there is no way you are going to get everyone to move ten trucks to allow your escape. So get there late or park in the brush on the side of road. The next issue is rattlesnakes. They are everywhere, under your truck, in the outhouse, in you sleeping bag, and just for fun there are the snakes that just seem to cruise through camp for no apparent reason.

Now I come to the real danger of deer camp, your friends. These people who hold down a regular job, own a house, have a family and speak passable english, turn into something else when they arrive at deer camp.

For starters each one brings an ice chest stuffed with enough beer to supply a Navy destroyer for three months. Then someone will bring out a bottle or two, or three of Jack Daniels or Black Velvet and that is when the trouble starts. Arm wrestling matches turn into Mixed Martial Arts matches, throwing rattlesnakes at people becomes a game of skill and poker games that end with flying beer cans and more mixed martial arts matches are all part of the fun. When the first bottle of hard liquor come out, that is my signal to say my goodbyes and get the heck out of Dodge.

That is my plan for tonight, while most everyone is spending the night in camp, and thats a good thing because no one will be driving anywhere, I will be home by 10:00 and be sleeping in a nice bed.

I will be at church Sunday at 7:30 helping to set up while they are still sleeping off their hangovers. Come to think of it, I am not sure who is getting the better deal.

Jim Nielsen is running for CA 2nd assembly district.

I have had a few chances to meet Jim Nielson and they have all been positive experiences.
I look forward to talking with him about the race.

Jim Nielsen, who once represented much of Northern California in the State Senate, today announced that he would seek the open 2nd Assembly District seat held by Assemblyman Doug LaMalfa. LaMalfa will be leaving the Assembly next year, having served his full three terms.



"I believe that today's legislature could use a dose of experience, and a double dose of common sense," said Nielsen. "I am as tough an advocate for farmers, property owners, crime victims and taxpayers as you're going to find anywhere, but I believe that you do more for your cause by being civil than by the partisan wrangling that too often characterizes politics today."

Um, yea,, well I was coming down the off-ramp into Woodland and then I was talking to Jesus....

Wow, I feel sorry for the poor guy and his family. That must have been one heck of a ride, right up to the point where he hit the outfield fence.

"For an unknown reason, the driver failed to slow down for the intersection and crossed through the intersection," stated Parsons. "The motorcycle became airborne after hitting the railroad tracks just west of the intersection and ultimately came to a rest against the outfield fence of the southeast softball field."....

Police believe that the motorcycle traveled about 30 feet high and 60 feet from the railroad tracks before crashing into Dubach Field which lies below Interstate 5.

I wonder if the poor man had a heart attack or something because, as you can see when you get to the end of the off ramp, you can turn left, you can turn right, or you can cross the four lanes of cross traffic and jump the railroad tracks.

Just in case you ever face this situation, take option A or B, because option C ends up with you at the softball complex, and that isn't a good thing.

My prayers to the family.

Digital Photo frames

I have always looked at the digital photo frames as kinda cool, but I am not sure I would spend the money for one. That part of the equation was rendered moot by my family when they presented one to me on Fathers Day. I have just now been able to drag a few photos onto it tonight and presto, it works!

All in all, the photos look a bit pixselated but the slide show feature is very cool and it will be a conversation starter for sure.

Work has been a killer this week so the blogging has been light.

Hey, its summer, go outside and enjoy the fresh air, unless you live in LA.

Dick Cheney must be working overtime.

I wonder how long it will take for someone over at Democrat Underground or Kos to post that this latest terrorist threat is just something cooked up by Cheney and Halliburton?

Large teams of newly trained suicide bombers are being sent to the United States and Europe, according to evidence contained on a new videotape obtained by the Blotter on ABCNews.com.

Teams assigned to carry out attacks in the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Germany were introduced at an al Qaeda/Taliban training camp graduation ceremony held June 9.

A Pakistani journalist was invited to attend and take pictures as some 300 recruits, including boys as young as 12, were supposedly sent off on their suicide missions.

Five hours, tops.

Fore!

Have 911 on the speed dial of your cell phone if you're playing Golf at the Arbuckle Golf Club tomorrow. That's right, after 18 months of nary a putt, my son and I are playing a round of golf with the Men's group at our church. This should be equal parts, fun, terror and humiliation. We are going back to Woodland after golf for lunch so at least I will be able to do something I am good at.

I have never been able to break 95, even when I was in sales and vendors took me out golfing twice a month, I would shoot right around 100. Its not that I have a bad swing, or a bad feel for the short game, although that is where I struggle most. My problem is even when I am playing bogey golf with a par mixed in for good measure, I will have one hole per side that kills me. I can be doing ok and then, wham! I am in the trees and then in the bunker, sail it back over the green, chip on, and then three putt for a snowman or worse.

Grass should be grazed by cattle, not walked over chasing a little white ball.

Scotts, go figure.

Trent Lott - elitist and former male cheerleader

So I guess Trent Lott thinks us peasants ought to just shut up.

Comments by Republican senators on Thursday suggested that they were feeling the heat from conservative critics of the bill, who object to provisions offering legal status. The Republican whip, Trent Lott of Mississippi, who supports the bill, said: “Talk radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.”

“I’m sure senators on both sides of the aisle are being pounded by these talk-radio people who don’t even know what’s in the bill,” Lott said. He added that the “leadership will have to be prepared to do what needs to be done.”

At some point, Mr. Lott said, Senate Republican leaders may try to rein in “younger guys who are huffing and puffing against the bill.”

Senator Lott, with all due respect for the office you hold and your years of service, bite me.

Is the Immigration Bill dead?

Lets hope the gang in DC gets the message that this bill such a disaster, they need to start over from scratch.
I believe they will try once more to duct tape a few more amendments onto this monstrosity to this to get a few more Republicans on board.

Just a word to anyone out there at the NRSC, you won't see one thin dime from me in 2008.
I will give to individual republicans running in tight races, but not a penny for anyone who voted for this immigration bill.

Here is thought boys and girls, build the fence.

If the Senate and House would appropriate the money for 1,000 miles of fence, and actually a build it. (we are the Unites States of America, if we can put a man on the moon and invent the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, we can build 1,000 miles of fence in two years for crying out loud) If you build the fence, I will promote a comprehensive/amnesty immigration program. If the background checks are real and we truly scrutinize illegals from nations with Jihadi movements, you have my support.

And then there is this...

Great marketing, strange event.

He teaches court reporting at the College of Marin. She is a stay-at-home mom. Sunday marked the 39th wedding anniversary for Tom and Candace Holub.

So the couple from Vallejo celebrated by waking at 5 a.m., donning gorilla suits and masks and heading to San Francisco, where they joined hundreds of other people dressed as the largest of the apes for a charity run through Golden Gate Park. Sitting on a bench near the band shell before the race began, Candace Holub held a yellow parasol with one paw and embraced a small stuffed gorilla toy with the other. "As we were driving here, I asked Tom, 'Would you have married me if you had known that on our 39th anniversary we'd be sitting here in gorilla suits?' " Apparently, a response came slowly. "I had to think about it," he said with a laugh.

Monkeys make me nervous, so I did not attend. Especially monkeys is wrestling masks.

Sunburt and tired

One of the things I do not look forward to is the summer irrigation season. It is one thing when you are at home all day and can check your progress, but when you work full time it gets a little frantic. I must admit that this year I am way late getting irrigation started, trying to decide whether to put the pasture up for hay or have my neighbor feed it off made me late this year.

The ground is dry and the cracks in the clay go down deep. The water takes a long time to fill up all the cracks, so the water on the surface doesn't seem to move at all. It is slow but the pasture will comeback green in a week or so and the next time the water will flow much faster and I will be done in about two thirds the time.

I went out this morning and forgot my sunscreen. My face, neck and arms are now the color of a Maine lobster when it comes out of the pot.

If you see me in church tomorrow it will be easy to recognize me, a big guy in a Hawaiian shirt and wranglers who looks like he just came back from a vacation on the sun.

Prisons trump schools?

California has reached a milestone that clearly shows how misguided our priorities have become. In five years, based on current trends, California's prison budget will overtake spending on the state's universities.

I am not sure who wrote the opinion piece in the Daily Democrat, but they should spend a day walking a cell block in Folsom Prison. Then ask them how much they would have to be paid to do it every day. I would bet they wouldn't do it for any price.

Don't get me wrong, the Prison gaurd's union, the CCPOA, has way too much influence in the budget process, the sweetheart deal they made with Gray Davis was robery without a ski mask. However, the main reason there are guards who earn 100k a year at San Quentin is the shortage of prison guards to walk the floors and yard. California spent 277 million in overtime to correctional peace officers in 2004. Is that a lot of money? Yes it is. Is it a big piece of the state budget? Not even a blip, .002%

The Democrat's opinion goes on to state that CHP officers don't make as much as the 182 correctional offers at San Quentin that made over 100k. Really? The CHP also faces a shortage of officers and they are paying loads of overtime. Three Bay area CHP officers made over $80,000 in overtime alone in 2003. In 2004 the CHP paid over17 million dollars in overtime to officers sitting in their cars listening to the radio and doing paperwork at Caltrans construction sites. Those facts are easy to find, but why let facts get in the way of the Daily Democrat's opinion?

The biggest problem I have the is the way the opinion writer throws figures around as if they have meaning.

To reduce prison budgets, other states are canceling new prison construction; paroling people scheduled for parole a few weeks earlier at savings of millions of dollars;

Ooo, really, millions of dollars? Wow if you saved up a few thousand of those million dollars, you would have a billion dollars, that is about 1% of the California budget. Why do people point to a few million here and hundred million there are think they are going to make a dent in the way the state works?

Then we get to the real meat of the opinion, in my opinion at least.

eliminating mandatory minimum sentences for certain offenses; providing treatment rather than prison for drug offenses.

No, instead California has taken and is taking the easy way out - we build more prisons and watch our education system struggle. Where have our priorities gone?

Ok, so you want to put thousands of felons back on the streets? That is your answer?

Let me tell you my partial solution. Let's build a real concrete and barbed wire fence from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. What effect would this have on the prison population? Glad you asked.

Why is it we never hear these social activists mention that 15% of California's inmates are illegal aliens? Why is it this percentage grows each year?

Lets build the wall, throw the minor felons back into Mexico and make it much, much harder for them to get back into to California to commit more crime. Even if that reduces the illegal criminal population by half that is a major step in getting the overcrowding problem solved.

Hey, but thats just my xenophobic, nativist, bigoted, small minded, hay seed, redneck opinion.

“Ya’all breastfeed now, you hear.”

Ok, its late and I have been up since 5:00 but I had to post this before I went to bed.

This is a real radio PSA for breastfeeding. You will have to imagine a 1970 country music singer, like Mac Davis singing these lines to a twangy country melody;

Mamma could plow a field with one hand, and chop a log just as well as a man. When it came to increasin' disease resistance, that woman could lactate like nobody's business. Mamma's nursin' helped raise a healthy family. there's nothin' she wouldn't do, she helped us kids get through, with less risk for ear infections and respiratory illnesses. When I think of mamma, brings a tear to my eye. She gave from her heart, or somewheres nearby.

Ya'all breastfeed now, you hear.

It was the funniest thing I have heard in a while.

Too much Pleribus, too little Unum.

Get ready Mr. President, here I go trying to frighten our citizens again with my empty political rhetoric. It is an amnesty bill Mr President. You can have Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup artist to do their best, but its still a pig.

A tiny amount of fence, blanket probation for those here illegally, no details about this fictional 'background check' like who will do it and how will it be done, no provision for increased scrutiny before granting probation to aliens from nations with Jihadi ties, a small increase in border patrol agents and to top it off, this bill will not stop the tidal wave of illegal immigration that will occur if this bill becomes law.

What good is an incomplete portion of a 300 mile fence going to do when all you need to stay here indefinitely and be able to work and travel with government issued documents is show up with a utility bill in your assumed name?

I am all for immigration. I am all for Mexican and Latin American immigration, heck I want everyone who wants to come here, work hard, learn the language, raise their families and live the dream that is America, to have that chance. However there has to be a reasonable process, serious security checks and medical screening. I am not sure the average person in America wants everyone on the planet with terminal cancer or HIV to sneak across the border so they can strangle our health care system and send the bill to the taxpayers. Maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

This bill is a sham, it has been duct tapped together with just enough of this type of language to get this side to vote for it, just enough of that kind of language to make that side vote for it, and what they have created is a bill that does not solve the problem. It is a fantastic feng shui plan to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Try again Mr. President. Enforce the border first, stop the hundreds of thousands coming across each year illegally, and once you do that, I am actually open to the idea comprehensive immigration reform.

"If you want to scare the American people, what you say is the bill's an amnesty bill," Bush said during a stop in Glynco, Ga. "That's empty political rhetoric, trying to frighten our citizens."

The strange thing is Mr. President, your comments about those of us out here who think granting probationary status [Section 601(h)] to 12 million plus illegal aliens is a bad idea from a security standpoint, is the same garbage the left throws at you when you talk about the war on terror.

"He's just trying to scare us with this terrorism bologna so he can take their oil." The crackpots on the left and the MSM tell anyone who will listen.

How does it feel to be standing in their Birkenstocks Mr. President?

Stumbling into success

News from beyond the greenzone, you know at the sharp end of the stick.
Hats off to Outside the Wire., another great little story, one you wont see on the evening news.

PS, I didn't suspect my wife was Iraqi, but this could explain it.....

As is often the case, the IPs did not immediately report what happened and even then the IP, like most Iraqis, have difficulty with spatial relationships, maps and directions.

Iraqis tend to know only one unit of measure--one kilometer. Everything is one kilometer, even if it is 200 meters or 2000 meters, it is one kilometer.

I our house its much much less serious, but still frustrating, to me anyway.

"Just down the road" she says
"how far down the road?" I ask
"I don't know, a little way" she says
"A mile or 40 feet down the road?" I ask
"I don't know, just a little way down the road" she replies
"Yes dear"

What am I looking for in my next President?

A true conservative. Smaller government, lower taxes, an honest to goodness wire and concrete fence along our border with Mexico - all the way from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico, someone who will fight the terrorists even when it becomes unpalatable to the public and someone who will veto every bill he thinks is bad for America.

I don't need a moral example to follow, I don't need an academician who can write an 1,100 page position paper on the global implications of a shift in power of the German Parliament and I don't need a moderate in conservative wrapping paper.

July fourth can't get here quick enough. In response to a tepid field of Republican candidates, rumors that Fred Thompson is going to announce his candidacy for President has been greeted warmly in conservative circles. My circle being one of them. Now before the opposition research comes back and finds that Fred scored with the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders squad after a night of body shots at Hooters, let me be the first to say, I am not really interested in the man's personal life.

I have been a supporter of President Bush, I haven't agreed with him on all issues, on some I have strongly opposed him. I think he is good man, he goes to church, he believes in Jesus Christ and yet he is trying to sell us down the river with this illegal amnesty deal that will make the Mexican border look like the Oklahoma land rush of 1889. I do think he understands the threat posed by radical Islam and that goes a long way in my book, but at a certain point I have to say enough.

This Immigration Bill is all broth, no meat. A tiny fraction of real fence. The 'triggers' are not serious, they are not defined as to who will process these 12 million illegal aliens, who will perform the background checks and no special consideration of granting a temporary work visa to illegals from nation who have a history of sponsoring terrorism.

A promise of a few hundred miles of fence that will never be completed, a promise of background checks, a promise to punish employers who hire illegals, in case you were not around for it, this tale has been told before. I was there for that amnesty, the flood gates opened and have never closed.

I don't have a problem with Mexicans, I always said that if they threw off the corruption that plagues every facet of life in Mexico, they would be a power player in our hemisphere. The people are hard working, they are devoted to family, they are mostly religious and the country has vast amounts of natural resources. They should have a booming economy, but they don't.

If we could stop the flood of illegal aliens across the border long enough for the 12 million or more that are here now to absorb into the fabric of America, that would be great. You want guest workers, ok, you want more legal immigration from Mexico, great. Lets do it in a way where we don't swamp our schools, our hospitals and our cities with a never ending tide of people with no money, who don't speak the language and want government services.

The democrats are banking on all these illegals becoming loyal voters, I don't know what the President is banking on. If the only way to save Social Security is by bringing in amnesty induced workers to pay for the baby boomers retirement, tell us, we big boys and girls, we can handle the truth. If native born Americans are not having enough children to pay for our increasing welfare state, tell us, we can have a 'war on childlessness' if I can coin a phrase.

All I want is a real debate. You can call me a bigot and a nationalist or whatever the codename is for anyone who dares ask a pointed question about a truly flawed piece of legislation that will change the face of our nation for generations, but I want to know why we are doing this.

Fred, do you have a comment?

Thompson, speaking at the National Restaurant Association annual show, said the bill will not win the support of the American people because they don't trust senators' promises to block illegal immigrants from crossing the Mexican border into the U.S "Nobody believes them. It goes to the bigger issue of the lack of credibility our government has these days,"

Bingo

I have a fever, and the only perscription is.....

MORE COWBELL!

The former California teenage surfer turned al Qaeda propaganda chief, Adam Gadahn, repeated his threats to kill Americans on a new tape posted on the Internet Tuesday afternoon.

Wearing a white turban, beard and glasses, Gadahn issued what he called a set of six "legitimate demands," saying, "We don't negotiate with baby killers and war criminals like you, Bush."

The first thing we demand is,,,,, is MORE COWBELL you infidel swine!

Ok, so I made that last part up. And I may have doctored the photo just a bit.

For Sale, 5 acres in Crawford Texas. Seller motivated.

Cindy Sheehan is going home and getting out of the public eye. She is selling 'Camp Casey' near the Crawford Texas summer home of President Bush.

Camp Casey has served its purpose. It’s for sale. Anyone want to buy five beautiful acres in Crawford , Texas ? I will consider any reasonable offer. I hear George Bush will be moving out soon, too...which makes the property even more valuable.

I wish her the best, stop laughing, I really do. Reading her DK post it seems evident Cindy is loosing her grip on reality and sees nothing but horror after horror, conspiracy after conspiracy being perpetrated by and on America.

Good-bye America ...you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can’t make you be that country unless you want it.

If there is a person who needs serious professional help, it is Cindy Sheehan. I hope she seeks that help and embraces it.

If not, she will be back in the spotlight soon, ranting about the coming Haliburton takeover of the supreme court or standing next to Hugo Chavez as he burns down the last opposition newspaper in Venezuela.

Please Cindy, just go back home and work on yourself for a while.

Nothing better than the cold, crisp sheets of your own bed

After any trip of three days or more, nothing feels quite like the crisp sheets of your own bed. Having returned a day early to avoid the zoo on the roadways tomorrow and to get some work done around the house, I am very happy to be crawling into the California King. pillow top, soft yet firm, luxury that I am so familiar with.

No matter how they try, the four inch foam pad of an RV bed isn't quiet the same.

Small group update

Tonight was our 5th small group study in the 40 Days of Community we are following at our church.

I had more than a few anxiety attack over hosting our small group, but those fears had been swept aside, replaced by feelings of fellowship and excitement. Our group has one more meeting left in this series but we have all decided we will continue with our group and hopefully grow even larger. We are having a dinner after our last 40 days study for all the family members of our group as well.

We are planning all sorts of outreach to our community and have completed a few as a group all ready. We are on roll and don't want to stop. We are praying for God to put people in our path and in our hearts that need his love, and to help us find ways to make that love evident. To steal a line from Phil Vascher, "There is no happier place than the intersection of God's will and your giftedness."

Please don't take this as a 'look at me, aint I great' story, to the contrary, this is not about what we are doing, it is all about what God is doing. It is easy to get busy with life and never get around to reaching out in a spirit of love to others around us. A small group is a great way to plan, brainstorm, organize and actually do some of those things you have always wanted to do, if you could only find the time. One night a week, 90 minutes is all it takes to bring many different talents, resources and gifts together for a common purpose, preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ without using words.

I would recommend this to anyone who is going to church and finds themselves disconnecting from their faith or wants to grow in their faith. It has made a real difference in my life.

Safety Underwear, I'm sure Al Gore has a pair.

For the man who has everything, here is a unique gift idea.
A perfect complement to your tinfoil hat, safety underwear to protect your,,,,, boys from cell phone radiation.

I guess its better that an aluminum foil jock strap and hopefully much more comfortable.

If you need proof that we have long since reached the apex in our climb towards civilization and are rapidly speeding down the other side, here it is.

Civil War church service

Sunday we are heading back out to the Civil War re-enactment at Gibson Ranch Park in Sacramento, Elverta actually. The service is usually open only to re-enactors but this year the public will be able to attend.

The weather is great this year, for a change, and the cannons are LOUD!

Come out at see a piece of living history this weekend, the kids love it.

5 Years left to save Earth!

Oh please.

Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe - but can still be saved, according to a new report.

The World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) warns governments have until 2012 to "plant the seeds of change" and make positive moves to limit carbon emissions.

2112? Why not 2011? Why not 2088? Only five years? From today or from January 1st?

But the Climate Solutions document says technologies already available could be harnessed to produce enough sustainable energy to power the planet while also reducing greenhouse gas emissions by 60-80%.

Dang, why don't we do it if its so easy? Where is their detailed plan? Oh yea, it must include crushing all privately owned automobiles and demolishing all US factories replacing them with anarcho-syndicalist communes. What about the developing super polluters like China and India? Are they going to buy into this new plan?

"We can slash carbon emissions and meet global energy demand without resorting to the red herring of nuclear power.

Oh, so as long as we don't use carbon free nuclear power we can save the world, right? If they are so concerned about saving planet, why do they oppose a safe, clean and plentiful, carbon free technology like nuclear power? Maybe they could buy and extra decade to save the world if the embraced nuclear power.

Oh this just in, maybe the scientists who claim the 'Earth is to end in five years so give me another 10 million in research grants' have found that when you make stupid prediction that scare the crud out of people and they don't come true, you look like the southbound end of a northbound horse.

Climate Momentum Shifting: Prominent Scientists Reverse Belief in Man-made Global Warming - Now Skeptics
Growing Number of Scientists Convert to Skeptics After Reviewing New Research

Oh for the love of Cavemen everywhere.

Stephen McPherson's office at ABC Television;

Ok, thanks for coming everyone, first off, we need to pick up the ratings for primetime. I need ideas, lets think big, lets think outside the box. Who is the Billy Ray Cyrus or the Spice Girls of 2007?

Billy Ray who?





Is that the dude with the sick mullet? That dude rocks. I mean the song sucked, but the hair was tight.



Uh, yea. So, who do your friends think is going to be the next big thing? What's hot with your demographic?



Our what? Hey dude, when do we get paid again?



Right after this brainstorming session.



Cool, I need to pay my sister for rent, she's like, going to kick me to the curb if I don't give her some folding money.




Dude, I feel ya. Totally.




Uh, yea, back to the TV guys, what's hot, what's the coolest thing on the internet right now?




Those pictures of Britney Spears without panti..




No, besides that. We would be violating every rule the FCC has if we showed those photos.




Uh, what about the cavemen dudes from that insurance commercial?




Those dudes rock, they're all like, I'm all mad and stuff cuase people think we're stupid.





Yea, I love those guys! Like the one in the airport when he sees his poster and is all checkin himself out, that one's cool.




You know the song, the 'everywhere I go' song from that commercial, dude, thats my ring tone!




Tight.

Camping, on Memorial Day?

My daughter wants to go camping on her Birthday. It is close to the Memorial Day holiday so we have bent to her will and will be packing up the camper and heading out on the holiday weekend.
My wife's parents live across the street and will be feeding the dogs and such, it is nice to have someone right there to keep an eye on your place when you're away, we do the same for them.

So why have I given in to this obvious lack of reason? My daughter is cute.
Thats pretty much it.

My wife tried to find a campground reservation in every nation forest in northern California to no avail. I came home on Saturday and started looking off the beaten path, I had to way off the beaten path to the goat trails to find a spot to camp away from the crowds. I found one.

No, I'm not telling you where it is. Lets just say it lies between two volcanoes and has more cows than people. My kind of place.
The kids will love the water falls, lakes and forests. I will try to get some reading in.

I feel more relaxed just thinking about it.

The Hippes are comming, the Hippes are comming!

Actually, they are in Davis already. Yes friends and neighbors, its time once again for the Whole Earth Festival.

Now, before you go off thinking I am a loud critic of these folks, let me assure you, I like them. I do.

They take me back to my youth where once upon a time someone came up with the bright idea of selling 5 acre parcels of red dirt covered in manzanita brush and poison oak to unsuspecting hippes fleeing the hustle and bustle of LA. I am not sure why you would want to build a geodesic dome or put up an army tent on a brush pile in northern Shasta County where temperatures reach 109 in the summer and it can snow in the winter, but I guess it was better that living in your parent's basement enduring the torture of Perry Como on the 33rpm stereo.

Anyhow, these people would set up their camps and 'live off the land', or so they thought. One day during the summer, I was irrigating our lower meadows when the irrigation ditch stopped flowing. I told my father and we went to see if the water meter gates had been shut up at the head end of the ditch. Nope, the water was still flowing into the ditch at the head, so where was the water going? We drove through some of the back roads to find a guy with a plywood house had borrowed a backhoe from a neighbor and was damming up the irrigation ditch and diverting it through his property. My father was far from amused. After notifying the rather dirty and bearded hippie, who was wearing cut off shorts and no shoes, that the water in the ditch belonged to the land owners who had purchased the water rights for it, my father told him to remove the dam from the creek or my father would be back with his D-8 Caterpillar to remove it. The guy agreed to remove the dam and my father let him put a small gas operated pump in the creek to get water for his house.

The Hippies were generally nice people although a shower now and then could have done wonders for their public relation efforts. Most of them just wanted to raise a family, grow some dope and be left alone. The school I attended was 50 kids k-12 so we knew everyone. I had a few friends whose parents were 'free spirits' and spending the night at their house was as interesting as it was educational. A 2" pvc pipe and a wooden pallet makes a good shower, but it is cold, maybe the lack of hygiene has something to do with that.

I remember one summer the Hippes decided to have a 'Woodstock Light' on 640 acres of BLM ground where we had our cattle. About 300 to 500 hippes came from all over to drink lots of beer, smoke lots of dope and have sex anywhere they could find shade. That was definitely educational to a 14 year kid ridding his horse, chasing cows, to see women with no clothes on walking though the hillsides picking flowers.

Back to Davis. I walked through the Whole Earth Festival Friday night and while most of the booths were closed, I did see at least half a dozen places selling hemp clothing, along with crafts, jewelry, workshops on how to be a peace activist, and three stages of music and crowds of old, young and everything in between dancing and singing. Lots of kids and dogs as well.

I even saw a distinct and rare subspecies of Hippie, the drum circle hippies. Alas, I had no camera.

So if you feel the need to buy an organic hemp shirt to go along with your tie-dyed tank top, run, don't walk to the UC Davis quad and relive the 60's with those who were there and those who wished they could have been.

Dear Mr. Dork

If you haven't seen this, you should.

Two questions for you.

1. If you don't attend church, why not?
2. If you could give advice to the people who run your local church to make it better, what advise would you give them?

Is it Friday yet?

Wow, what a week. I have been as busy as Al Gore buying carbon offsets.

Bible study, small group, and getting ready for our mens ministry monthly breakfast.
Throw in work, painting the kitchen, getting my new couches and hauling the old ones to our youth group's new facility, I am bushed.

I need some down time, but alas, there seems to be none on the horizon. Friday can't come soon enough.

Maybe I'll chuck it all and raise alpacas.


Maybe not.