Having older children is a strange thing. Our son is married, and his wife has a pretty big family who all live pretty close. They will be celebrating Christmas morning together, so the two of them came out last night to celebrate with us.
My wife and daughter had to work, so I was home alone, cooking and cleaning. I actually got out our china, the china we received as a wedding present some 32 years ago. I think we have used it, maybe five times in all those years. It is very pretty stuff, I am going to make a new tradition using it.
Everyone arrived just as the sun went down. We all caught up chatting, and getting all the presents under the tree. Well, close to the tree is a better description. We don't trust the hound dog with anything pretty she can get through the doggie door.
We had dinner first. The prime rib roast was very nice, and we were all quite full when done. We decided to open presents next, for a bit of room to become available before dessert.
We all had a great time opening our gifts, and seeing the faces of our loved ones as they opened ours. All the while, the six dogs there were playing, and causing commotion. It was a typical Lucas Christmas.
So this morning, we woke up with not much to do. I made cinnamon rolls and worked cleaning up and started putting things away. As things were winding down, I thought about how excited I used to get about Christmas as a kid. To be honest, I was mostly excited about the presents. Ten percent about the fantastic dinner my mom would be making, but maybe ninety percent about the presents.
Fast forward half a century and how things change. I still love Christmas presents, but my feelings trend more toward those I love, and not as much for what is inside the wrapping paper.
The strange thing about Christmas to me, even today, is how slow it comes, and how fast it goes once here.
It seems I have a month or three weeks to get all my shopping done, then two weeks, then a few days, then I really have to get serious. On Christmas day or Christmas Eve, depending on when we open gifts, that day, that two hour period flies by.
This year, after we opened presents, I found myself out on the front porch with my son, enjoying a cigar and my new ashtray. It kind of a thing we do, and I enjoy these times with all my heart.
When I have a whisky and cigar with my son or my friends, we talk to each other. Really talk. It usually puts in a 'present' place. It's why I enjoy it so much.
These times are usually saved for special places.
Places like deer camp, or a backyard party, once the party has died down. Places like front porches, or the top of the Continental Divide. These times are very special.
Which kind of makes me think, what do we put importance upon these days? Especially in this Christmas season?
Being in America, and being part of this multimedia, social media world, we are told by these billion dollar corporations what should be important; your family and your happiness. Aw, how nice right?
Then they specifically use their trillions of lines of computer code and algorithms to put an add in front of your computer or phone screen, that you will see and hopefully make some snap judgement upon. Something, that in the back of your brain, goes little like this:
Family is special, and if you don't get your family our product for Christmas, you are a failure.
Laugh if you want, but this is what they do with all that code, and those trillions of dollars.
This is how all those ads, and commercials, with those beautiful people, and perfect families, show you how to be a good person in today's America:
Buy the right stuff for your family, our stuff, and get a little something special for yourself too. It's Christmas for crying out loud.
I think about these gifts we give and get, and wonder, just wonder, if there is another way. A little better way to connect with each other.
What if our focus was on being present for Christmas? What about giving small, meaningful gifts that can bring that sense of presence to those we love?
I ran across this interview with Bill Murray a while back, and it is so good. He talks about what he really wants out of life. It's a good questions because he has more money and fame that most people could ever achieve. But what does he want? He wants to be present in his life.
Such great advice.
I am going to try to do this for all those folks I get birthday presents for this year. Yes they will be gifts, but they may be two or four tickets to something they would never go to. Something cool, that would be an event they could remember. It doesn't need to be expensive, just something they would enjoy doing with someone else, and to have a memory of it for years to come.
Tell them you want them to have a moment, to make a moment with this gift. To be present, even if just for a few minutes, or a few hours that day. To drink it in, even if the event isn't that spectacular. Make the best day of it, make it a memory, that is the goal of the gift. Be present.
We will see how it goes, for them and for me. I want to be more present in my life. That is my goal. Wish me luck.
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