Saturday, June 30, 2007

We rely on the good will of our fellow man and the forbearance of reptiles

I may need a little more than that tonight.

Yes folks, somehow I have been talked into performing another wedding. This makes four, all friends of course, and all performed in the Capay Valley. Tonight is the bachelor party at deer camp.

If you are picturing deer camp from Field and Stream magazine with a small cabin tucked into the forest with rocking chairs on the front porch, you would be wrong. Think five miles of steep winding dirt road taking you deeper into the chemise brush, rocks and live oak trees. At the end you find a small collection of wooden structures that you could call cabins, or you could call them rattlesnake condominiums, which would be a better description. Don't get me wrong, we would love to have running water, indoor plumbing and electricity, but we still love deer camp.

The trick to surviving a night a deer camp is strategic planning and logistics. If you get there early, you are toast. The parking area is small strip of road that leads into camp. If your rig is in the front, there is no way you are going to get everyone to move ten trucks to allow your escape. So get there late or park in the brush on the side of road. The next issue is rattlesnakes. They are everywhere, under your truck, in the outhouse, in you sleeping bag, and just for fun there are the snakes that just seem to cruise through camp for no apparent reason.

Now I come to the real danger of deer camp, your friends. These people who hold down a regular job, own a house, have a family and speak passable english, turn into something else when they arrive at deer camp.

For starters each one brings an ice chest stuffed with enough beer to supply a Navy destroyer for three months. Then someone will bring out a bottle or two, or three of Jack Daniels or Black Velvet and that is when the trouble starts. Arm wrestling matches turn into Mixed Martial Arts matches, throwing rattlesnakes at people becomes a game of skill and poker games that end with flying beer cans and more mixed martial arts matches are all part of the fun. When the first bottle of hard liquor come out, that is my signal to say my goodbyes and get the heck out of Dodge.

That is my plan for tonight, while most everyone is spending the night in camp, and thats a good thing because no one will be driving anywhere, I will be home by 10:00 and be sleeping in a nice bed.

I will be at church Sunday at 7:30 helping to set up while they are still sleeping off their hangovers. Come to think of it, I am not sure who is getting the better deal.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Jim Nielsen is running for CA 2nd assembly district.

I have had a few chances to meet Jim Nielson and they have all been positive experiences.
I look forward to talking with him about the race.

Jim Nielsen, who once represented much of Northern California in the State Senate, today announced that he would seek the open 2nd Assembly District seat held by Assemblyman Doug LaMalfa. LaMalfa will be leaving the Assembly next year, having served his full three terms.

"I believe that today's legislature could use a dose of experience, and a double dose of common sense," said Nielsen. "I am as tough an advocate for farmers, property owners, crime victims and taxpayers as you're going to find anywhere, but I believe that you do more for your cause by being civil than by the partisan wrangling that too often characterizes politics today."

Monday, June 25, 2007

Um, yea,, well I was coming down the off-ramp into Woodland and then I was talking to Jesus....

Wow, I feel sorry for the poor guy and his family. That must have been one heck of a ride, right up to the point where he hit the outfield fence.

"For an unknown reason, the driver failed to slow down for the intersection and crossed through the intersection," stated Parsons. "The motorcycle became airborne after hitting the railroad tracks just west of the intersection and ultimately came to a rest against the outfield fence of the southeast softball field."....

Police believe that the motorcycle traveled about 30 feet high and 60 feet from the railroad tracks before crashing into Dubach Field which lies below Interstate 5.

I wonder if the poor man had a heart attack or something because, as you can see when you get to the end of the off ramp, you can turn left, you can turn right, or you can cross the four lanes of cross traffic and jump the railroad tracks.

Just in case you ever face this situation, take option A or B, because option C ends up with you at the softball complex, and that isn't a good thing.

My prayers to the family.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Digital Photo frames

I have always looked at the digital photo frames as kinda cool, but I am not sure I would spend the money for one. That part of the equation was rendered moot by my family when they presented one to me on Fathers Day. I have just now been able to drag a few photos onto it tonight and presto, it works!

All in all, the photos look a bit pixselated but the slide show feature is very cool and it will be a conversation starter for sure.

Work has been a killer this week so the blogging has been light.

Hey, its summer, go outside and enjoy the fresh air, unless you live in LA.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Dick Cheney must be working overtime.

I wonder how long it will take for someone over at Democrat Underground or Kos to post that this latest terrorist threat is just something cooked up by Cheney and Halliburton?
Large teams of newly trained suicide bombers are being sent to the United States and Europe, according to evidence contained on a new videotape obtained by the Blotter on

Teams assigned to carry out attacks in the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Germany were introduced at an al Qaeda/Taliban training camp graduation ceremony held June 9.

A Pakistani journalist was invited to attend and take pictures as some 300 recruits, including boys as young as 12, were supposedly sent off on their suicide missions.

Five hours, tops.

Friday, June 15, 2007


Have 911 on the speed dial of your cell phone if you're playing Golf at the Arbuckle Golf Club tomorrow. That's right, after 18 months of nary a putt, my son and I are playing a round of golf with the Men's group at our church. This should be equal parts, fun, terror and humiliation. We are going back to Woodland after golf for lunch so at least I will be able to do something I am good at.

I have never been able to break 95, even when I was in sales and vendors took me out golfing twice a month, I would shoot right around 100. Its not that I have a bad swing, or a bad feel for the short game, although that is where I struggle most. My problem is even when I am playing bogey golf with a par mixed in for good measure, I will have one hole per side that kills me. I can be doing ok and then, wham! I am in the trees and then in the bunker, sail it back over the green, chip on, and then three putt for a snowman or worse.

Grass should be grazed by cattle, not walked over chasing a little white ball.

Scotts, go figure.

Trent Lott - elitist and former male cheerleader

So I guess Trent Lott thinks us peasants ought to just shut up.

Comments by Republican senators on Thursday suggested that they were feeling the heat from conservative critics of the bill, who object to provisions offering legal status. The Republican whip, Trent Lott of Mississippi, who supports the bill, said: “Talk radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.”

“I’m sure senators on both sides of the aisle are being pounded by these talk-radio people who don’t even know what’s in the bill,” Lott said. He added that the “leadership will have to be prepared to do what needs to be done.”

At some point, Mr. Lott said, Senate Republican leaders may try to rein in “younger guys who are huffing and puffing against the bill.”

Senator Lott, with all due respect for the office you hold and your years of service, bite me.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Is the Immigration Bill dead?

Lets hope the gang in DC gets the message that this bill such a disaster, they need to start over from scratch.
I believe they will try once more to duct tape a few more amendments onto this monstrosity to this to get a few more Republicans on board.

Just a word to anyone out there at the NRSC, you won't see one thin dime from me in 2008.
I will give to individual republicans running in tight races, but not a penny for anyone who voted for this immigration bill.

Here is thought boys and girls, build the fence.

If the Senate and House would appropriate the money for 1,000 miles of fence, and actually a build it. (we are the Unites States of America, if we can put a man on the moon and invent the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, we can build 1,000 miles of fence in two years for crying out loud) If you build the fence, I will promote a comprehensive/amnesty immigration program. If the background checks are real and we truly scrutinize illegals from nations with Jihadi movements, you have my support.

Monday, June 11, 2007

And then there is this...

Great marketing, strange event.

He teaches court reporting at the College of Marin. She is a stay-at-home mom. Sunday marked the 39th wedding anniversary for Tom and Candace Holub.

So the couple from Vallejo celebrated by waking at 5 a.m., donning gorilla suits and masks and heading to San Francisco, where they joined hundreds of other people dressed as the largest of the apes for a charity run through Golden Gate Park.
Sitting on a bench near the band shell before the race began, Candace Holub held a yellow parasol with one paw and embraced a small stuffed gorilla toy with the other. "As we were driving here, I asked Tom, 'Would you have married me if you had known that on our 39th anniversary we'd be sitting here in gorilla suits?' " Apparently, a response came slowly. "I had to think about it," he said with a laugh.

Monkeys make me nervous, so I did not attend. Especially monkeys is wrestling masks.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sunburt and tired

One of the things I do not look forward to is the summer irrigation season. It is one thing when you are at home all day and can check your progress, but when you work full time it gets a little frantic. I must admit that this year I am way late getting irrigation started, trying to decide whether to put the pasture up for hay or have my neighbor feed it off made me late this year.

The ground is dry and the cracks in the clay go down deep. The water takes a long time to fill up all the cracks, so the water on the surface doesn't seem to move at all. It is slow but the pasture will comeback green in a week or so and the next time the water will flow much faster and I will be done in about two thirds the time.

I went out this morning and forgot my sunscreen. My face, neck and arms are now the color of a Maine lobster when it comes out of the pot.

If you see me in church tomorrow it will be easy to recognize me, a big guy in a Hawaiian shirt and wranglers who looks like he just came back from a vacation on the sun.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Prisons trump schools?

California has reached a milestone that clearly shows how misguided our priorities have become. In five years, based on current trends, California's prison budget will overtake spending on the state's universities.
I am not sure who wrote the opinion piece in the Daily Democrat, but they should spend a day walking a cell block in Folsom Prison. Then ask them how much they would have to be paid to do it every day. I would bet they wouldn't do it for any price.

Don't get me wrong, the Prison gaurd's union, the CCPOA, has way too much influence in the budget process, the sweetheart deal they made with Gray Davis was robery without a ski mask. However, the main reason there are guards who earn 100k a year at San Quentin is the shortage of prison guards to walk the floors and yard. California spent 277 million in overtime to correctional peace officers in 2004. Is that a lot of money? Yes it is. Is it a big piece of the state budget? Not even a blip, .002%

The Democrat's opinion goes on to state that CHP officers don't make as much as the 182 correctional offers at San Quentin that made over 100k. Really? The CHP also faces a shortage of officers and they are paying loads of overtime. Three Bay area CHP officers made over $80,000 in overtime alone in 2003. In 2004 the CHP paid over17 million dollars in overtime to officers sitting in their cars listening to the radio and doing paperwork at Caltrans construction sites. Those facts are easy to find, but why let facts get in the way of the Daily Democrat's opinion?

The biggest problem I have the is the way the opinion writer throws figures around as if they have meaning.
To reduce prison budgets, other states are canceling new prison construction; paroling people scheduled for parole a few weeks earlier at savings of millions of dollars;

Ooo, really, millions of dollars? Wow if you saved up a few thousand of those million dollars, you would have a billion dollars, that is about 1% of the California budget. Why do people point to a few million here and hundred million there are think they are going to make a dent in the way the state works?

Then we get to the real meat of the opinion, in my opinion at least.

eliminating mandatory minimum sentences for certain offenses; providing treatment rather than prison for drug offenses.

No, instead California has taken and is taking the easy way out - we build more prisons and watch our education system struggle. Where have our priorities gone?

Ok, so you want to put thousands of felons back on the streets? That is your answer?

Let me tell you my partial solution. Let's build a real concrete and barbed wire fence from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. What effect would this have on the prison population? Glad you asked.

Why is it we never hear these social activists mention that 15% of California's inmates are illegal aliens? Why is it this percentage grows each year?

Lets build the wall, throw the minor felons back into Mexico and make it much, much harder for them to get back into to California to commit more crime. Even if that reduces the illegal criminal population by half that is a major step in getting the overcrowding problem solved.

Hey, but thats just my xenophobic, nativist, bigoted, small minded, hay seed, redneck opinion.

Monday, June 04, 2007

“Ya’all breastfeed now, you hear.”

Ok, its late and I have been up since 5:00 but I had to post this before I went to bed.

This is a real radio PSA for breastfeeding. You will have to imagine a 1970 country music singer, like Mac Davis singing these lines to a twangy country melody;

Mamma could plow a field with one hand, and chop a log just as well as a man. When it came to increasin' disease resistance, that woman could lactate like nobody's business. Mamma's nursin' helped raise a healthy family. there's nothin' she wouldn't do, she helped us kids get through, with less risk for ear infections and respiratory illnesses. When I think of mamma, brings a tear to my eye. She gave from her heart, or somewheres nearby.

Ya'all breastfeed now, you hear.

It was the funniest thing I have heard in a while.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Too much Pleribus, too little Unum.

Get ready Mr. President, here I go trying to frighten our citizens again with my empty political rhetoric. It is an amnesty bill Mr President. You can have Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup artist to do their best, but its still a pig.

A tiny amount of fence, blanket probation for those here illegally, no details about this fictional 'background check' like who will do it and how will it be done, no provision for increased scrutiny before granting probation to aliens from nations with Jihadi ties, a small increase in border patrol agents and to top it off, this bill will not stop the tidal wave of illegal immigration that will occur if this bill becomes law.

What good is an incomplete portion of a 300 mile fence going to do when all you need to stay here indefinitely and be able to work and travel with government issued documents is show up with a utility bill in your assumed name?

I am all for immigration. I am all for Mexican and Latin American immigration, heck I want everyone who wants to come here, work hard, learn the language, raise their families and live the dream that is America, to have that chance. However there has to be a reasonable process, serious security checks and medical screening. I am not sure the average person in America wants everyone on the planet with terminal cancer or HIV to sneak across the border so they can strangle our health care system and send the bill to the taxpayers. Maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

This bill is a sham, it has been duct tapped together with just enough of this type of language to get this side to vote for it, just enough of that kind of language to make that side vote for it, and what they have created is a bill that does not solve the problem. It is a fantastic feng shui plan to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Try again Mr. President. Enforce the border first, stop the hundreds of thousands coming across each year illegally, and once you do that, I am actually open to the idea comprehensive immigration reform.
"If you want to scare the American people, what you say is the bill's an amnesty bill," Bush said during a stop in Glynco, Ga. "That's empty political rhetoric, trying to frighten our citizens."
The strange thing is Mr. President, your comments about those of us out here who think granting probationary status [Section 601(h)] to 12 million plus illegal aliens is a bad idea from a security standpoint, is the same garbage the left throws at you when you talk about the war on terror.

"He's just trying to scare us with this terrorism bologna so he can take their oil." The crackpots on the left and the MSM tell anyone who will listen.

How does it feel to be standing in their Birkenstocks Mr. President?

Stumbling into success

News from beyond the greenzone, you know at the sharp end of the stick.
Hats off to Outside the Wire., another great little story, one you wont see on the evening news.

PS, I didn't suspect my wife was Iraqi, but this could explain it.....
As is often the case, the IPs did not immediately report what happened and even then the IP, like most Iraqis, have difficulty with spatial relationships, maps and directions.

Iraqis tend to know only one unit of measure--one kilometer. Everything is one kilometer, even if it is 200 meters or 2000 meters, it is one kilometer.

I our house its much much less serious, but still frustrating, to me anyway.

"Just down the road" she says
"how far down the road?" I ask
"I don't know, a little way" she says
"A mile or 40 feet down the road?" I ask
"I don't know, just a little way down the road" she replies
"Yes dear"