Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What is attractive?

I am home today nursing a sore knee, nothing too serious, I just wanted to stay off it for a day and see if returns to normal. Not being home during the week, I am not up to speed on what daytime television has to offer, which upon reflection is nothing. Prime time television is a little better, but not much.

If you were an alien and wanted to study America and Americans, watching not only our television programs, but our commercials would give you a good sense of what Americans deems important.

In my humble opinion, it boils down to acceptance by your peers and desire by the opposite sex. I realize this is not an earth shattering insight, but it something to think about when you look at our nation, our friends and even our spouses, and how they view their world.

Watching the local news after 9:00AM things can get very light in the news department as they focus on fluff and human interest stories. These shows seem to be aimed at younger to middle aged women judging by the commercials that are placed in this time slot. I didn't pay much attention to the TV, I was working on the computer, but I did look up in time to see the third add for some type of miracle anti-wrinkle cream, followed by a diet plan.

So I guess what is really important to middle aged women is their weight and their wrinkles. Okay, fair enough.

At night, especially after 10PM, the ads on cable especially turn their focus toward men, at least on the sports, science, and history channels anyway. It seems that middle-aged men are very concerned about their thinning hair, their graying hair, and the size of their (cough) package.
Okay, fair enough.

I have a thought on both of these seemingly interconnected concerns. As Americans, and especially as responsible parents, we need to reassess our definition of attractiveness. We need to relearn a new way to define attractiveness and teach it to the next generation of young adults. Wouldn't it be great for your son or daughter to marry someone who the love, honor a respect for who they are, not just what they look like?

I will be speaking from the male point of view, since that is the one I am more familiar with. I would love to hear from the opposite sex on this one, please comment below or email me and will post you response.

What do men find attractive?

When we are young and influenced by a peer group, be it at school or just our friends, we place so much value on looks. We will overlook a great deal of character flaws, even putting up with behavior we know is wrong, if the girl in question is "hot" enough. It seems many men carry this attitude with them throughout their lives. This is the guy who is working on his fifth marriage with a woman twenty years his junior.

As we get older and presumably more mature and brighter, we leave the shiny-new-toy phase of attraction behind and start looking for substance. Sure, we still want to have a physically attractive partner and spouse, but we start to overlook physical characteristics if she is "loving" enough.

This takes me to my final point. Women, here is the secret to attracting and more importantly, keeping the interest of your spouse. Respect and passion.

Men crave respect from their spouse, I cannot stress this enough. If you want to cement your relationship, treat you husband with respect. Even when, especially when, he is going through a tough time. If a man loses his job, or the family is a financial crisis, that is when your support can make such a difference. Even if you make all the important decisions in the family, your husband really wants you to respect him. In fact, if you show more respect for him, he might be willing to take on more responsibilities. Respect breeds confidence, and confidence leads to respect, make the first move ladies.

The other part of this puzzle is passion. Do you know what men find sexy? Passion is sexy. Sure, the body of a swimsuit model is darn attractive, but if she is cold as a fish, the hot body will lose its luster quite quickly. A woman who is passionate about you is intoxicating. We could care less if you have a few more crow’s feet around your eyes, if we have a passionate spouse. All the miracle creams, all the "Buns of Steel" workouts will be for naught, without passion.

Now I know you women are thinking, yea, but most men are pigs, and I agree. I count myself in that group. Even as a happily married man, that swimsuit model, or the girl at work, looks very appealing, and I have to guard against my own piggish behavior. That being said, it is much easier to turn your attention back to a loving, passion filled relationship than it is a spouse who owns a $1,000 of wrinkle cream, has buns of steel and treats you like doormat.

So, am I full of beans?

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