Friday, December 23, 2005

A Hollywood heavyweight title fight

I would first like to thank both our guests for coming in today. First, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, thank you for taking time away from your busy schedule Governor.

No problem, glad to be here. I like your hat.

Thank you Governor. Also joining us is actor and activist Mel Gibson. Mr. Gibson welcome to the Roughstock Journal.

Happy to make it in, and may I say, I like the hat too.

My thanks to both of you.
Governor,lets start with you. The press has been writing about an internal feud among the GOP here in the Golden State. You announced you were bringing in a former Davis staff member, and by all accounts, a very liberal activist to be you new Chief of Staff. Governor, do you see any problems with appointing Susan Kennedy to your staff?

Yolo...Mr. Cowb... What should I call anyway?

Cowboy will do just fine Governor.

Great. Well Cowboy, I have to say that I have never felt threatened by a strong female viewpoint, even one I don't always agree with. Have you seen my wife?

Yes I have, she seems to be quite a nice lady, but what about those in your own party who think this is a conformation of your rather liberal social views coming home to roost? And that this is just the first sign of a full scale retreat to the center-left in this up coming election year?

I am not really worried about the in-fighting. We are a diverse party and the GOP in California will be behind me when the time comes.

You mean like they were in the special election?

That was unfortunate, I would like to have seen a ground swell of support among the Republicans, but for the most part, they sat on their wallets and the 'get out the vote' effort was like Red Sonja, it sucked bad.

Now lets get a view from someone who has the rumor mill working overtime. Mel Gibson. Mr Gibson,,

You can call me Mel.

Thanks, Mel, what do you say to those who are trying to draft you as a possible replacement for the Governor. Is there any truth to those rumors that you will be running in the Republican primary?


Governor, that question was for Mr. Gibson.


Mel, what about it?

I really don't have any desire to get into the political arena. From what I see on the outside, it looks worse than Hollywood. I mean, if someone mis-quotes me, I refuse to speak to that reporter, end of story. When your in Government, you have to give press conferences with people who just hate you for what you believe in.

Don't forget your crazy father, the press would hang him around your neck like an anchor.

Governor, please, can we leave families out of this?

Yea, I wouldn't be talking Governor. Not with a family like yours.

What's that supposed to mean?

You brought it up.

Well isn't your Dad nuts? I mean he doesn't believe the holocaust happen?

Look Arnold, my father is an old man, and he says some things I wish he didn't but at least he wasn't a Nazi.

Those are lies! Everyone in Austria joined the Nazi Party or you didn't get a job.

Gentlemen please, can we take a deep breath and get back to the issues?

Sure. Sorry.

Me Too.

Great, lets end with a question for both of you. What is the one major obstacle that this state must address in the next few years? Mel, you first.

I would say that the biggest obstacle in our state is the striking lack of value placed on human life. I mean, if you think that abortion on demand at any stage of pregnancy is fine, what value do you place on those who are living? That lack of respect for human life is a terrible filter to view life through.

Mel, thank you for your views.

I would just like to respond to Mel's statement because I am pro-choice and I don't think I have this 'bad filter thing' Mad Max is talking about.

Didn't you just execute someone last week Conan?

I didn't throw the switch or anything. I just signed a piece of paper, and he was guilty as hell. What about Conan? You freakin Crocodile hunter.

Boys, lets settle down.

Tell that to Nazi boy over there.

You want to start something anti-Semite?

Bring it on, in case you haven't looked in the mirror lately, you aren't in very good shape fat boy.

Who are you talking to?

Man-boobs over there.

That's it Gibson, outside right now!

Fine with me, cupcake.

Yea, you'll be thinking cupcake when I kick the livin crap out of you, Aussie.

Well, that about wraps up our first, and probably last, sitdown interview here at the Roughstock Journal. ( No wonder Hogue sticks to the radio, much safer)


Roseville Conservative said...



Conservative Schooler said...

This is great!

SactoDan said...

I am putting up a link to this, you have outdone yourself.

Craig DeLuz said...

OH MY GOD!!!!!

I think I just peed myself!!!!

This is too funny!

Great Job Yolo!

Ralph said...

Did anybody mention how good you look in that hat?

fetching jen said...

I am hysterical. Man boobs. Too funny cowboy.