Sunday, January 22, 2006

Fox presents - Legislating with the Stars!

You have seen them dance and watched them skate, but can they write law? Find out on the world premiere of Legislating with the Stars.

First up is the Emmy winning artists and political activist Barbra Streisand. And joining Ms. Streisand is our professional legislator, another Barbara, Barbara Boxer the United States Senator from California.

Ms. Steisand, our rules are simple, you have to draft a bill with help from your legislator and I will judge its chances of passing and becoming law.

Lets begin.



Thanks, I'm so exited about being the first celebrity on your show. I have spent many hours writing and re-writing this bill with the Senator's help and I will give you a brief outline of it. My bill is called "The new bill of rights for good citizens". As you know, the President and his corporate pals in Halliburton have gutted the Constitution during his term in office and my bill addresses the damage done to our rights. My bill has five points.



Five?



Yes five, I know the original bill of rights has ten, but we only need these five new ones to get back our freedom.



Please, continue Ms. Streisand.



My first item outlaws all wars. Never again will American soldiers be forced to die in an illegal and immoral war.



All wars, even a war where we are attacked first?



Especially those, which takes me to my second point. The abolition of the CIA. No more spying of any kind. Also, without the CIA messing around in the world, killing and oppressing people, we will have no more enemies. No more enemies, no more wars, pretty smart huh?



Um, yea, brilliant.



Third, the abolition of American armed forces. Without enemies, without wars, we will no longer have the need for an Army. We will keep the Coast Guard because they help when my friends have trouble on their yahts, but the guns will be banned from the ships. Oh yea, and we will repaint them ivory, I just love ivory, its my new power color.



No armed forces at all?



None, just be quiet and you will understand.
Fourth we take the money saved from the defense department and give it to the poor. We divide all the money we now spend those Army guys and those terrible weapons and cut a check to every poor person in America, double that amount for Democrats who are poor.



Seriously?



Quiet, I said.
Lastly we will revoke the Second Amendment to the Constitution. Without an Army, there will no longer be a need for guns, I mean people don't need guns. There will be exceptions for my bodyguards, Chuck Schumer and Dianne Feinstein, but no other guns will be allowed in the United States.

So, what do you think Cowboy?



Senator Boxer, did you have a lot of input on this bill?



You know, Babs, as I call her is so smart and has such a firm grasp on these important issues that she wrote most of the bill herself, The last point I gave a little input on, but if I ever need to go on a long vacation, I think Barbara would be great fill in for me in the Senate.
Barbra are these the right shade of roses you wanted?



Senator I told you wanted Ivory roses, what part of Ivory do you not understand? I had my staff tell your staff to have you surrounded in Ivory roses, we will talk off line, someone on your staff is getting a pink slip.

Well Cowboy, what our chances?



I must say that bill in its present form two chances of passing, slim and none, and slim just left.



You think its just not the right time for this bill?



No, I don't think there will ever be time for it.



What about in 2008 when we will back in control of Congress and I am helping Hillary pick out her china pattern?



You may have a small window of opportunity.



When?



When they hold the Winter Olympics in Hell.




Damn!

3 comments:

R2K said...

Haha that is so weird.

Rocketry

Tex said...

Now all the gun toting wackos will have guns and we'll have nothing to defend ourselves with.

quicksilver said...

I just love the picture of Boxer. She looks like a legislator with all those flowers. HA!